MÜV Flower Review: Guru (Indica)

Guru – an offspring of the well-known Forbidden Fruit strain, and somewhat of a cult favorite amongst Florida medical cannabis patients. This strain doesn’t have much in the way of “official” information about it online yet, but there are a decent amount of reviews that can be found in various Reddit communities.

This seems to be somewhat of a “love it or hate it” strain; I’ve seen nearly equal amounts of people raving about how good it is, and others who don’t understand the love for Guru.

I find myself more in line with the former group – this is an excellent indica for relaxation and helping one drift off to sleep at the end of the day.

Quick Facts:

Guru (Indica) 

Price at time of review: $32/eighth (T3)

Lineage: Forbidden Fruit x Petrol OG

Batch/Harvest Number: BU060520-111GU

Cannabinoids

THC: 19.37%

CBD: 0.07%

Total Cannabinoids: 19.44%

Terpenes

Unfortunately, MÜV doesn’t make their lab reports available, so I have no terpene percentages to provide for this strain. Whenever this information becomes available, I will update this section with the terpenes and their percentages.

Appearance/Cure

MÜV’s T3 flower is $32 per eighth vs. the $50 pricetag of their T1 flower or the $40 for T2. Per their website:

Tier 1 ($50) and Tier 2 ($40) are selected based on potency, size, structure, terpene profiles and aroma. Tier 3 is based on size only.

https://altmedflorida.com/product/copy-copy-2/

Guru definitely takes after its Forbidden Fruit parent with its appearance. The purples – which seem to be a blend of violet and fuchsia shades – are amongst some of the most beautiful that I’ve seen, even with these micro-popcorn nugs. (Speaking of that, I’ve been told that this strain tends to put off smaller buds than average – so take that for what you will.) This is a strain that is sometimes recognizable without it even being identified in the post, due to the distinct blend of purples and greens. Very aesthetically desirable genetics here – lots of bag appeal.

The trim is really good, and even though the nugs are extremely small, they are within acceptable range for the Tier 3 price point – by my standards, at least. What matters most is that I was able to work with them.

Perhaps the most disappointing aspect of this batch, is the dryness of the flower. I’ve had worse, but after getting used to the phenomenal cures that GrowHealthy, VidaCann, and Trulieve seem to have been pumping out lately, this really stood out as being undesirably dry. It turned to dust in the grinder; luckily, this didn’t result in extremely harsh smoke.

If this batch had been cured and dried correctly, it’d have an upper-9’s rating in this category. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case this time. I’ll surely try T2 or T1 again in the future though – this is a great strain overall.

Appearance/Cure Rating: 8.00/10.00

Smell/Taste

This is a strain with a very distinct smell. Guru has a really pungent, tart, zesty citrus smell, which is accompanied by a hint of a more skunky/diesel terpene. The citrus presentation here seems to be closest to a bitter grapefruit scent/taste.

It reminds me a lot of VidaCann’s I95 x Lemon G13 flower in its smell, but with grapefruit citrus terpenes rather than lemon.

The smell and taste seem to be the most “controversial” aspect of this strain for most patients, from what I’ve seen. I can see why this is – this is a very strong and unique smell, and it is not like most other strains we come across in Florida.

For my part, I enjoy the smell and taste a lot. My wife is a patient as well, however, and she does not – though she does love the effects.

I suppose you’d have to determine for yourself if you like this one – it seems to be a relatively more even split as to whether you will or you won’t.

Smell/Taste Rating: 8.40/10.00

Effects/Medical Use

Guru is among the most relaxing indica strains I have found: it has exceptional effects, in my opinion. In many ways, it reminds me of the way GrowHealthy’s Wookie Girl makes me feel, but I think Guru is a bit more sedating.

For me, this is strictly an evening strain. While there is a cerebral quality to Guru, it is not enough to make it useful for motivation or energy. Instead, I go to Guru when I want to sit down and do something that requires little to no movement.

I’ve found that small doses are better for relaxation, and heavier doses better for sedation and/or sleep. This seems like it would be a good strain for pain relief, and for any GI issues as well. Its effects are what I consider to be true indica (relaxing, sedating) in nature. If I had to tie a percentage to it, I would say Guru feels like it is 80-85% indica in effects – not referring to the plant structure or genetics, but instead whether the strain makes you feel energized (“sativa”) or sedated (“indica)”. I’ll have a more complete article on the evolution of the meaning of these terms coming soon.

Back to Guru – it’s strictly night time use for me. I love it, and recently included it in my Top 3 Indica Strains for the month of May 2020.

Possibly good for treating:

  • Depression and related anxiety 
  • Motivation issues
  • Good for general relaxation
  • Relief of moderate aches and pains
  • Relief of minor to moderate nausea and gastrointestinal discomfort
  • Relief of minor insomnia (in higher doses, and during the latter part of effects)

I’m definitely no medical doctor, so please take the preceding conditions only as my own personal observations from using this strain and having experience with a multitude of different cannabis strains. Everybody is different, and every body reacts differently to various medications. 

Effects Rating: 9.10/10.00

Overall Rating: 8.50/10.00

Overall, I would best describe Guru as an “excellent” indica strain from MÜV.

In the end, I come out as a solid fan of this strain. I’d say I recommend it – but know that this seems to be a more “divisive” strain than others, or perhaps people are just more opinionated with it.

For me, this is a solid indica, and I will be getting it again in the future – hopefully with a much better cure next time.

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